When I was happy

Do you remember when I was happy? It feels like so long ago. I'm getting to my breaking point. I don't want to be here anymore. I feel so alone. My friends don't seem to want to hang out with me anymore. I spend much of my days alone in my room staring at a wall. Things have been peaceful, I've gotten along with my mom and brother, the occasional visit from my niece brightens my days but right now... I just need to ... I don't know. I feel like my rut has come back that happiness I got from my English class is fading thank goodness I'll be starting some more classes next week. I've lost inspiration to move anymore all I want to do is watch everything move around me I feel trapped inside. Could this be karma? I need something, something that will brighten everything to make me smile again... I need to think positive but I'm having such a hard time doing that right now. I feel like I'm failing myself. I don't want to do that... I don't want to be here. I don't want my friends to ignore me. I don't want to work at Mc Donalds... I want to run away, hide somewhere no one can find me. But that's illogical life is what it is right now, things will get better I know but those days seem so far away right now.